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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29901507">worth it.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/superfrumpkin/pseuds/superfrumpkin'>superfrumpkin</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Character Death, F/F, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:41:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,754</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29901507</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/superfrumpkin/pseuds/superfrumpkin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>You always knew this day would come. In fact, you knew you had many of them ahead of you. And yet, when your necklace starts glowing, you feel the dread creeping up, the fear of finding out who's turn it was. </p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Keyleth/Vax'ildan (Critical Role), Keyleth/Vex'ahlia (Critical Role), Percival "Percy" Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III/Vex'ahlia, Scanlan Shorthalt/Pike Trickfoot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>83</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>worth it.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is SAD.<br/>You've been warned.</p><p>Keyleth POV. </p><p>Completely unbeta'd. Please be kind, English is not my first language.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You always knew this day would come. In fact, you knew you had many of them ahead of you. And yet, when your necklace starts glowing, you feel the dread creeping up, the fear of finding out who's turn it was. </p><p>As if she could hear you, Pike's broken voice comes through in your mind: "Kiki, it's Grog. Please, come to Whitestone".</p><p> </p><p>As quickly as you could, you let your father know, open up a portal, and you're out of the Sun Tree. Vex'ahlia, tears in her eyes, and Percy, holding her by the shoulders, are waiting for you there. </p><p>You hug them both tight, and you head to Sarenrae's temple, where Pike and Scanlan are standing beside a lifeless Grog. </p><p>He looks peaceful. His hulking form isn't menacing with his eyes closed, and his mouth so relaxed. It was time. </p><p> </p><p>You let a few tears fall, hold the gnomes, and you have a small service for the goliath. </p><p>You then head to a tavern and drink his beloved ale in his honor, reminiscing of all the good times. </p><p>"To Grog Strongjaw, Grand Poobah de Doink of All This and That" a slightly drunk Percy shouts "a great fighter and an even greater friend!" </p><p>"To Grog!" You all cheer. </p><p> </p><p>Just as the day begun, it comes to a close. You're all tipsy, and teary eyed. You say your goodbyes and head back to Zephrah, your heart a little heavy.</p><p>You carve a space for a cup of ale next to the shrine to the Raven Queen, and head to sleep. </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p>A few years go by, you visit Whitestone from time to time, get to see all the De Rolos grow up, share a knowing smirk with Percy when Cassandra finally introduces her girlfriend to all of you. </p><p>You participate to all the great events, the weddings, the births, the tearful final goodbyes to your allies.</p><p> </p><p>Allura introduces you and the Tal'Dorei council to a group of colorful individuals from Wildemount, called the Mighty Nein (but there's eight of them? No one says it but you all think it), who apparently had saved the World and managed to let it go undetected. </p><p> </p><p>You recognize them from your mother's stories, they are the ones who brought her back to you. </p><p>You thank them profusely, and you catch the redhead wizard blush as the white haired drow next to him smiles and rubs his shoulder, and stifle laughter knowingly when you see the dark skinned woman, the pale and tall one who was holding her hand and the blue tiefling all looking at Vex with their mouth open. The yellow clad halfling smacks them subtly as their half orc friend politely smiles at all of you. </p><p>It's funny, you knew the feeling of being caught staring at Vex'ahlia very well.</p><p> </p><p>You see Percy grow a beard that makes him look older and cheer loudly alongside Vesper when with an excited "Auntie Keyleth, look!" she druidcrafts a snowdrop in her hands. </p><p> </p><p>// </p><p> </p><p>A few years later, as you're tending to the needs of your people, the necklace pulsates again. You have a suspicion this time, and your heart clenches. </p><p> </p><p>Coming out of the Sun Tree once again, you can see the whole atmosphere is somber. Black flags with the Whitestone crest glowing gold wave in the breeze, falling from the Castle's large windows. </p><p> </p><p>You lean against the Tree that's become like a friend to you.</p><p> "Hey, Keyleth. It's quite the sad day. I can feel the grief of the whole city in my roots."</p><p>Tears fall and you ask what you already know.</p><p>"It's Percy,isn't it?" </p><p>"It is. You might want to go to Lady Vex. I know she might need you." </p><p> </p><p>You find them once again, gathered in the temple. The De Rolos are surrounding their mother, who's sobbing loudly. You'd seen her this broken only once before, for her brother. </p><p>Only this time, it was your brother, laying limp and quiet, with Pike performing the last rites.</p><p> You see Taryon held by Lawrence in the large crowd, but you make a beeline to Vex.  </p><p>"Mom, aunt Keyleth is here," Vesper whispers. </p><p>Trinket is next to her of course, whining in pain too.  </p><p>Vex'ahlia opens her bloodshot eyes, looks at you briefly and runs into your arms. </p><p>You feel her pain, all of it. You try to convey everything you can in that hug. </p><p><i>I'm here. I know. I feel it too. I've felt it too. </i>She holds you like you're the last thing keeping her standing. And you hold her like she held you many years before. </p><p> </p><p>Drinks are had, words and stories are shared. You decide to stay at the Castle one more night, you let Korrin know through Pike. </p><p> </p><p>Everything goes quiet. In the dead of night, you hear a knock at the door of your guest room. You already know who's going to be on the other side, and yet when you open it and the dim candles show a shattered Vex'ahlia, her cheeks wet with tears, her eyes sunken with exhaustion, your heart aches. </p><p> </p><p>"Keyleth..." she says with a barely audible whisper. </p><p>No more words are needed. You let her fall into your arms, and hold her through the night, let her sob in your arms until she passes out. </p><p>Eventually, you fall asleep too. </p><p> </p><p>Vex gives you the raven skull you made for him before you leave, and you make sure to place it next to the mug of ale, with a pocket watch. </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p>Years keep passing by, you see Vesper's magic thrive and see the proud look in her mother's eyes. You know you must share that same look. You see her become every bit of the leader Percy was, with her mother's wits and her father's strong willpower.  </p><p> </p><p>Eventually you have to go to Deastock and say goodbye to Taryon, that's another hard hit on Vex. He was her best friend. </p><p> </p><p>This time you carve the logo of his Brigade in what has become the Vox Machina tree in Zephrah. </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p>You and Vex grow closer. She reminds you of him in so many ways, and yet she's so different. A few wrinkles are starting to appear near her eyes, but as you keep observing her, she's never been more beautiful. </p><p> </p><p>Many things start to become usual occurrences, like you visiting the Castle, and her coming to Zephrah with the help of her daughter. </p><p>Everytime you see each other, it seems like the pieces start falling back together.</p><p> </p><p>One day, as regular as any other, you're watching the sun setting on your tribe and you catch her looking at you intensely. </p><p>"You're so beautiful, darling."  </p><p> </p><p>You're taken aback. She doesn't give you time to reply. Without even being able to register it, her mouth is on yours, and her hand is in your hair. </p><p>You'd lie if you said you hadn't ever dreamed of this. </p><p>Suddenly, she stops, touching her lips in shock "Keyleth, I'm so-" this time you cut her off, shaking your head and catching her sorry with your mouth. </p><p> </p><p>You're not sorry. You're glad she did that. You would have never had the guts to make the first move. And Gods, her lips are so soft, her hands tangle in your hair and you don't know what to do, but bask in the comfort her body pressed against yours gives you. </p><p>She must be feeling something similar, cause her breath becomes shallow as she whispers "Key" in between kisses.</p><p> </p><p>That night you make love and it's sweet, and calm and slow, nothing like you thought Vex would be. You both needed this so bad, you know you've loved her for a long time and if only an ounce of her felt the same, you'd be happy with it. </p><p> </p><p>Waking up next to her is nothing short of magical. She's peacefully sleeping, her dark, naked back warmly lit by the sunrise creeping in. You softly brush your fingers along her spine, and her eyelids flutter to reveal warm hazel irises, looking at you with a small smile. Your breath catches.</p><p> </p><p>"I love you," you whisper, unable to keep it in anymore. </p><p>Her smile widens. She kisses you and your heart races fast when she says "I love you too, Keyleth," brushing your noses together. </p><p> </p><p>You feel happier than you've been in a long time. </p><p> </p><p>// </p><p> </p><p>Life goes on between Zephrah and Whitestone, you both have responsibilities you can't run from. </p><p> </p><p>You say your last goodbyes to Allura, and shortly after Kima, who are buried together as they always asked. </p><p> </p><p>Once Vesper is ready to take the helms of Whitestone, Vex decides that it's maybe time to leave, not without hesitation.</p><p>"Mom, go. I get it,okay? We will visit all the time, you won't even have time to miss us". </p><p> </p><p>Vex gives her a teary laugh, kisses her forehead, and with an "I'm so proud of you" she comes to Zephrah with you. </p><p> </p><p>Korrin and Vilya treat her like their own, and you look at her in adoration when she tells you they're like the parents she always wanted. </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p>Vesper keeps her promise, and the De Rolos come visit all the time. You don't catch when Percy IV, their youngest, calls you mama, but Vex does and maybe sheds one little happy tear. </p><p> </p><p>Zephrah is always buzzing with life, thriving under Keyleth's leadership, and Vex's advice. </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p>Their necklaces glow once more, and they know it's time to say goodbye to Scanlan this time. </p><p>Kaylie plays a sorrowful piece in honor of her father, as you and Vex hold Pike. They both know what it's like to lose a soulmate. </p><p> </p><p>As always you gather in the tavern and share stories of Scanlan the bard. </p><p> "He died as he lived," Kaylie raises her cup "hard and fast!"</p><p>You all share a teary laugh and get drunk as you say goodbye to another friend. </p><p> </p><p>You show Vex the Vox Machina tree for the first time in years, as you carve a space for a miniature shawm. </p><p> </p><p>She holds you as you both look at the Raven Queen's shrine.</p><p>"I hope they're all together," Vex whispers. "I hope he doesn't hate me for this," she chuckles and kisses your cheek. </p><p>Just as she says that, as if out of nowhere, a large raven lands between you two on Vex's shoulder. It nuzzles her. </p><p>"I guess you have your answer," you smile and scratch the top of the raven's head. It leans in your hand. </p><p> </p><p>// </p><p> </p><p>Life goes on, the kids aren't kids anymore, Vesper leads Whitestone fiercely, you say goodbye to Gilmore a couple of years after Allura and Kima, but you have each other to lean on. </p><p> </p><p>// </p><p> </p><p>One day, Vex feels too tired to get out of bed and Trinket lets out a long groan. </p><p>You quickly message Pike, who comes to Zephrah with the children. </p><p>She does a quick scan of her body and confirms what you already know. </p><p>There's nothing wrong with your Vex, nature is claiming her. It's time to say goodbye. </p><p> </p><p>A sob wracks your body, you knew it was coming. You saw the wrinkles getting more prominent and her hair going gray with the passing of years, but it still hurt to know. </p><p>You can never be ready. </p><p> </p><p>You let the kids say their goodbyes, not wanting to intrude on such an intimate moment. </p><p> </p><p>When your turn comes you try to be strong, but your heart is in too much pain. </p><p>She lays a hand on your now wet cheek, and strokes it with her thumb, wiping away some tears. "Kiki..." her flebile whisper is full of love.  </p><p>"I don't know if I can do this without you,too" </p><p>"Of course you can. You're strong, and caring, and kind. Your people rely on you. You don't need me to succeed. I will always love you, Key. I will always be with you. Far, but never gone, remember?"</p><p>You kiss her hand. </p><p>"I love you. You're every bit as beautiful as the day I first met you." </p><p> </p><p>You lean over her to kiss her lips, and with a smile, she lets out her last breath. </p><p>You can't help but hold onto her a little longer. </p><p>Trinket plops down next to you and lays his head on Vex's stomach, breathing heavily. </p><p>You know he must be close as well. </p><p>You clutch his fur, as he breathes one last time, too. </p><p> </p><p>All the kids and Pike kneel down to hold you, and together, you mourn the loss of Lady Vex'ahlia. </p><p> </p><p>You take her blue feathers, tie them on your staff, with the black ones you had from Vax. </p><p> </p><p>In the tree, you leave the tip of an arrow, and one of the pink bows you and Vax once put on the bear. </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p>The De Rolos go back to Whitestone, Pike spends some days with you. </p><p>It will take a long time to heal, but you have plenty of that. </p><p> </p><p>You'll outlive them all, it's your tragic destiny, you signed up for it. It doesn't hurt any less. </p><p> </p><p>// </p><p> </p><p>Pike is of course the next one to go, the worshippers of the Everlight all gather to say goodbye to her Champion, you look around and see just how many lives Pike's kindness had touched. It's beautiful. </p><p> </p><p>Your tree has another spot, with the symbol of Sarenrae and a miniature mace.  </p><p> </p><p>// </p><p> </p><p>You carve one last spot on the tree, that you know won't be filled for many years still. </p><p>You leave instructions for your antlers to placed there. </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p>You're thankful to have your parents by your side, as the days blur together. </p><p>Eventually you feel happiness again, when Vesper brings her firstborn to you and you get to see new life blossom in every corner of your tribe, the Ashari growing and leaning on you, the love on your mother's face and the pride on your father's. </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p>Years, and years, and years pass but you never forget them, not once, not for a second. </p><p> </p><p>Vax'ildan, with his smirk and his daggers, and his wings that held you in safety. Your first love. Forever and ever and always. </p><p> </p><p>Vex'ahlia, matching smirk on softer lips, the best of hagglers, witty and beautiful and quick with her arrows. The lover you got to keep. The lover that got you through. </p><p> </p><p>Percival, your very best friend, your brother and partner in crime, a quick draw, the smartest of you. A loving husband and father, a fierce leader. </p><p> </p><p>Grog, big and strong with a heart of gold, with his smile and fun in fights and taverns, his gentle hands with small creatures. Not the smartest, but still one who thought you so much. </p><p> </p><p>Scanlan, the embodiment of fun and laughter, always ready to pick everyone up and help out, cheering and inspiring with his voice and his charm. </p><p> </p><p>Pike, the kindest of spirits, her heart bigger than her small frame could ever contain, sweet and loving like a mother to all. </p><p> </p><p>Taryon, flamboyant and fun, with his desire to be accepted and his mind full of ideas, always accompanied by his thousands versions of Doty, faithful companion. </p><p> </p><p>Trinket, friend of Vox Machina, her Vex's best friend, as much of a member as everyone else. </p><p> </p><p>You never forget any of them. You feared it would happen after meeting Sprigg, it felt like looking in a mirror of your future. </p><p>But you keep them in your heart until you're old and gray, tell your stories to your tribe, make sure they are spread across the world so that Vox Machina may never be forgotten. </p><p> </p><p>As you close your eyes for the last time, you dream of them and hope that the Raven Queen will be kind enough to let you see them once more. </p><p> </p><p>//</p><p> </p><p>On the other side, what you see surprises you. It's them, all of them. Vax, with his wings spread, in the middle, smiling bright. Vex is next to him, looking like the day you met. None of them is old and gray. Percy's hair is even black, rid of the stress and weight of the world. </p><p>Pike's hair is black as well, like the day you first called her to help you with Grog. </p><p> </p><p>Everyone looks young, and happy. You feel yourself crying. As you look down, you notice your hair are long and flowing, a fierce red. </p><p> </p><p>"You did so well, princess." Vex'ahlia winks at you, and you suddenly feel surrounded by all your family's arms. </p><p> </p><p>You smile in the cuddle pile, think back to your adventures, and realize that everything was worth it, after all. </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I KNOW, I'M SORRY.<br/>I had some feelings to let out. It's been a hard...couple of years. Or more. I don't know anymore. </p><p>Come yell at me on twitter @superfrumpkin.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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